shoes.
tipping and tripping in heels
disappearing in flats
clothes.
if that's what you call a single string of fabric
makeup.
covering natural beauty
it's always all the same. just a different scene.
different people, the same me.
flashes.
the blinding lights hiding criticizing faces.
judging each body rather than pieces of cloth
deafening music.
rushing bodies.
hurrying you along.
change faster
are you in your place?
is this where I'm meant to be?
the still bodies shouting orders
tears threatening to spill.
hiding secrets behind laughter.
a sip of vodka
a breath of weed-filled smoke
anything to numb it all
do you fit the standards?
do I?
5 more pounds, just five more.
change my hair.
fix my nose.
every detail matters.
even if I hate the clothes
even if I felt naked
even if it was to tight
even if I couldn't breath
smile.
pain hits.
its the hunger.
always on empty.
pills
only to survive
never to fill
death by beauty
beauty is pain
what is beauty
i only feel the pain
how do i stop the pain
food
just a bite. maybe two.
no.
a sip of water.
and smile.
another look
another hand
another brush
a gentle shove
a small breath
it's time.
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